you: *eats 100 ears of corn in two hours* I am the corn king! I cannot be outcorned
me: *eats 101 ears of corn in ten minutes* just another day in the corn fields
what?
I don’t know. i woke up at 6am, wrote this, and went back to sleep
hope youre okay
“CAN’T WAIT TO MOVE INTO A SIMPLE APARTMENT WITH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE & COOK DINNER WITH THEM & HAVE RANDOM MIDNIGHT TRIPS & BE SPONTANEOUS”— @thesexualquotes (via thesexualquotes)
“They told me to pour my heart into everything I do. So that’s what I did, I poured and poured and poured. Now they ask me why I’m so empty.”— (via n-ul)
*takes off my leather jacket to reveal a second, secret leather jacket underneath*
you mean, skin?
What an absolutely terrifying addition to my post. Thank you.
me: *gets scared that i’m wasting my life*
me: i’m gonna deal with this feeling by taking a long nap in the middle of the day
Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99
Please don’t hesitate
1 penny below reporting limit for the IRS… I see what you did there
(Don’t give me $599.99)
That’s not the right IRS rule.
$599.99 is the amount below which a business does not need to issue a 1099 to a contractor who provides business services. The contractor still needs to report the income on their taxes.
The correct number for the IRS rule for money that is gifted rather than received in a business transaction is $13999.99–more than that, and the recipient has to pay tax on the gift and report it to the IRS. Less than that, and there’s no taxation or reporting requirement.
If we’re choosing amounts on the basis of IRS limits, give these people $13,999.99.
Go. Do it.
Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $13,999.99
“I’m awfully difficult. But I do know when I love someone and I’ve loved you ever since I can remember.”— Ernest Hemingway, The Complete Short Stories
(via thelovejournals)
